Life Goes On
by jdp123
Summary: What do you do when the one you love is suddenly and tragically taken from you? How do you get up every day and live your life? The story of Kelly Taylor's struggle to find out.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note: This is my first Beverly Hills 90210 fic. I've written some other fanfiction in the past, but it's been several years so I can't promise that I really know what I'm doing. Anyways, with recently catching some of the reruns on SoapNet and the new 90210 out, I've been thinking about the old show lately. This idea just popped into my head and since I can't get it out, now that I'm starting to have some time, I figured I'd try to write it up and see what people think. So when your done reading the first chapter please let me know._

Chapter 1:

Kelly Taylor walked up the familiar path and through the revolving doors of the Beverly Hills Nursing and Rehab Center. She passed the receptionist's desk and headed straight for the elevator. As soon as she pressed the up button, the doors opened. The elevator was already there. Getting in, she automatically hit the button for the second floor, the long-term care unit.

"Good afternoon Ms. Taylor," the woman sitting behind the nurse's station said as Kelly got off the elevator.

"Hi Connie," Kelly greeted the nurse as she stopped to talk to her. "How is he?"

"He's doing alright. His vitals have been really strong over the past few days," Connie replied. "Unfortunately, there's been no change in his overall condition."

"I know," Kelly said sadly. "And your family?"

"They're doing fine. My daughter-in-law's pregnant!" Connie exclaimed. "I'm gonna be a grandma. Can you believe it?"

"Congratulations," Kelly offered sincerely. She had come to know the nurse well, and as much as Kelly wished that they had never had to meet, she really did like the woman. "I think I'm going to go see him now."

"Of course," Connie responded as Kelly walked away.

Following the routine that she had long ago adopted, Kelly paused at the doorway of room 212, wiping a tear away as she looked at the name plate on the wall that designated the room's occupant. She then put one hand on the nameplate and the other over her heart as she looked in at the man laying in the bed. _Her husband_. He looked so peaceful. If she didn't know any better, she would have thought he was simply asleep and not in a coma.

Taking a deep breathe, she walked into the room, pulling up a chair so it was at the edge of the bed. She leaned down and kissed him. It amazed her that despite everything his lips were just as soft as they were the first time they had kissed all those years ago, in high school. Sitting down, she took his hand in hers as the tears began to fall uncontrollably. After two years, the pain of seeing the love of her life like this was just as bad as it had been when after weeks of denial, she had finally accepted the fact that he may never wake up. Still it was better than just sitting at home without him there. The place felt so empty without him. It reflected the void that had been left in her life and in her heart.

Every night in her dreams he was there. Instead of this hell she was trapped in, he was awake and happy and full of life. They were together and living the life she had always thought they were meant to live. Even when they things had gone horribly wrong and they weren't together, deep down she had always known that they'd find there way back to each other. It wasn't supposed to be this way. They were supposed to grow old together and be just as happy and in love as they had always been. He wasn't supposed to be in a coma, and she wasn't supposed to be a depressed and miserable person who could barely get through a single day without crying. It wasn't fair. It wasn't right.

"Hey, its me," Kelly finally said as she pulled herself from her thoughts, determined to do what she had come to do, spend some quality time with her husband. With that, she began to talk to him, telling him everything that had happened since the last time she had seen him.

"You would have been so proud if could have seen him," Kelly finished a story. "He was in pre-schooler heaven surrounded by all those gifts. I don't think I have ever seen a child so deliriously happy. The only way his birthday party could have been better is if you had been able to be there. We miss you, and we need you. Your son needs you. I need you.

"Come back to me, Brandon," she pleaded.

_So what do you think? Worth continuing? Not worth continuing? I know there's a lot of vagueness and missing pieces here. It's intentional. All will be explained with time. Also, I know its rather short. Future chapters should be longer. I just couldn't figure out how to stretch this out more than it already is.  
_


	2. Chapter 2

_First of all, thank you to the two people who reviewed the story and told me to keep going. I really appreciate it. Did the other 100+ people who read the story not like it and just didn't have the heart to tell me that it wasn't worth continuing or what? If that's the case, please let me know. Since it's been so long since I've done something like this, any feedback, positive or negative, is a big help. Plus, it can get you things. I actually added something to this chapter based on a review. Not everything's negotiable (i.e. whether or not Brandon wake's up—that's for me to know and you to find out ), but if I like a suggestion you give me and think that it won't compromise my plans for the story, I will at least consider putting it in._

_Now, as for the story itself, it takes place during the new 90210. That said, I have seen parts of two episodes and refuse to watch any more as I think it has destroyed pretty much everything it took from the original show. I guess you could say this fic is my attempt to correct all the problems I have with the new show, but really that's only part of it. The main reason is that setting this during the new 90210 allows me to pluck characters from there as needed without having to make them up from scratch. Of course, I've seen so little of them, that I can't even attempt to write them in character, but taking them made sense in my head and at least I don't have to think of names. The story is going to be Kelly-centric, and for now at least, everything is going to be told from her point of view. I have every intention of incorporating other characters though, especially Brenda, Donna, David, Steve, and Janet, who I'm writing as being in Beverly Hills and therefore, more able to interact with Kelly. At least the rest of the Original 8 (and possibly some other characters) will pop up at one point or another either in person or via phone call. This chapter and the next are pretty much setting up where we are in the present so there isn't that much in terms of plot movement. Now, I believe that's all I have to say so onto the story._

Chapter 2:

Kelly sat at her desk in her office at West Beverly Hills High School, flipping through a binder on her desk, trying to find the papers she needed for her next and last appointment of the day. She was meeting with a student and his parents right after the school day ended. Finding the paper, she glanced at the clock. It was only five minutes after the last time she checked, and school didn't end for another half hour.

Today was Monday. She hated Monday's. For some reason it always seemed to drag on far more than the rest of the week. Plus, it was the day after she visited Brandon, meaning that the hurt and pain that stemmed from seeing him like that and the fact that he wasn't with her were always worse than at any other point during the week. The knowledge that she probably wouldn't see him for another week just made it worse. Kelly had long ago carved out a few hours each Sunday that was specifically dedicated to visiting Brandon. That way she knew she would get to see him. Every other Sunday she would bring Sammie to see his father; she felt guilty that she didn't bring him more often, but she couldn't help being selfish and wanted to make sure that she had some visits alone with Brandon. Those were the visits that brought her the most solace. There was no reminder that her husband didn't get to watch their son grow up. It was just the two of them and nothing mattered other than the fact that she and Brandon loved each other. She tried to get down to Beverly Hills Nursing and Rehab Center more than once a week, but between Sammie, Silver, work, and her friends, her efforts were usually futile. Kelly could plan to go see him on say Tuesday night but then Sammie would get sick or Donna would guilt her into babysitting. It almost always worked without fail so it was just better to set aside that one time each week when no matter what happened Silver would take care of Sammie and she would go visit Brandon.

"Knock Knock," a voice pulled Kelly from her thoughts.

"Mr. Matthews," Kelly said cordially while silently adding, "Please don't let this be about what I think it is."

"How many times do I have to ask you to call me Ryan before you actually will?" he asked.

"Okay, fine, Ryan," Kelly snapped. "What can I do for you?"

"Now I know that you've said no before," Ryan began, "but just hear me out. I was thinking that on Friday—"

"I don't think so," Kelly interrupted and silently wondered, "Why can't he just take no for an answer? How many times do I have to turn him down before he finally gets a clue?"

"How about Saturday then? Dinner and a movie?" Ryan asked hopefully.

"Mr. Matthews," Kelly was annoyed. "I'm not interested. NOT INTERESTED. No matter how many times you ask me out, I'm not going to be interested. No matter how many times you revise your plans for this date you want us to go on, I'm not going to be interested. Please have some dignity and stop."

"Look Kelly, if this is about your husband, I understand, but you really need to get on with your life. I could be someone you could do that with. I overheard your conversation with your sister-in-law at lunch, and the way you're living your life isn't healthy," Ryan offered.

"That's it. Get out or I will have you thrown out," Kelly was furious. How dare he eavesdrop on her and Brenda? He had no right to judge her or tell her how live her life. It wasn't like he knew Brandon or what they shared and just how special it was. He had never experienced what she had after Brandon's accident. The guy was just proving more and more that he was a jerk.

After Ryan left, Kelly attempted to get back to work, but she was too angry to be able to focus. Instead she wound up looking at a picture on her desk of Brandon with a baby Sammie and thinking about what should have been. A few minutes later she was interrupted again by someone knocking on her office door.

"What part of leave me alone don't you understand?" Kelly asked without looking up.

"Is that anyway to talk to one of your best friends?" a voice other than the one Kelly was expecting replied.

"Sorry Brenda," Kelly said as got up and motioned for Brenda to join her on the couch in her office. "I assumed you were Ryan Matthews. The guy was in here again a few minutes ago asking me out."

"Wow. He's definitely got it bad for you. That's what the third time this month?" Brenda asked.

"Nope. The fourth. It's getting worse. He asked me out twice last week," Kelly answered. "It's like he's obsessed or something. I've got to figure out some way to get him off my back."

"You could actually go out with him," Brenda offered.

"Brenda," Kelly said sternly.

"Just hear me out," Brenda said. "Since he won't take no for an answer, actually saying yes to one date may be the only way to get him to leave you alone. Try to placate him, and if that doesn't seem to be working just make sure that you're a really bad date so that he'll never want to go out with you again."

"Even if I thought that would work, I could never betray Brandon like that," Kelly replied.

"Kel, you can't keep—" Brenda started.

"Brenda, don't start with me again," Kelly cut her off. "I know exactly what you're going to say. It's been over two years. I can't think like this. I need to live in reality, move on, find some way to be happy. It's not betraying Brandon. He would want that for me. You make everything sound so simple, but you know what, I do live in reality and nothing is simple. I am always thinking about my husband and the fact that he's not here. I can't just get over it no matter how long it's been."

"I know you just can't get over it," Brenda replied. "But I also know that you can't keep living this way. If Brandon could see you this way, it would break his heart."

"I think I know my husband and what he would want or feel," Kelly said coolly. "How can you have just given up on him? He's your brother for goodness sakes."

"I haven't given up on him," Brenda responded. "Believe me, I would be thrilled if he woke up. I still hope that one day he will, but I have to realistic. The odds aren't good, and I'm really worried about you."

"I'm fine," Kelly said. "Now can we change the subject please? Bring it up one more time Brenda, and you're going to be uninvited to dinner. Now as I recall, Dylan was in town over the weekend. How'd that go?"

"Great," Brenda took her hand out of her pocket for the first time since she walked into Kelly's office.

"Oh my God!" Kelly gasped as she noticed the glimmer coming from the ring on Brenda's finger as the woman put her hand on her lap. "You guys are engaged!"

"Yes we are," Brenda beamed. "You are looking at the future Mrs. Dylan McKay or Daniel MacMillan. We haven't exactly figured out exactly how to handle the whole actor marrying a poet who uses a pen name thing, especially since he doesn't want his real identity getting out there."

"Have you figured out what you're going to do about the whole him being in Spain thing?" Kelly asked.

"Yeah," Brenda answered. "Both of us agreed that a long-distance relationship is one thing, but a long-distance marriage is completely out of the question. We figure he doesn't need to be a poet in residence or even in a specific location to write whereas I'm rather limited in where I can be and still have a professional acting career so he's going to resign at the end of the year and just try to get stuff published on his own. Daniel MacMillan has a good enough reputation that he should be fine, but if not, we'll deal with it."

"Good for you guys," Kelly smiled. "So I want all the details."

"Later," Brenda told her. "I think I'll save it for dinner and just tell everyone at once."

"Fair enough," Kelly replied.

"Speaking of dinner, is it going to be the usual?" Brenda asked.

"Not quite," Kelly answered. "Just you, David, Donna, and the kids are coming over. Steve, Janet, and family are stuck in New York. Their flight was cancelled with the blizzard and now they can't get out until Wednesday."

"I should have guessed," Brenda laughed. "Dylan's stuck there too. The kids must be thrilled with missing school and actually getting to play in the snow."

"When Janet called to let me know, I overheard her yelling at Maddie that they needed to somehow get her boots before she could make a snowman," Kelly smiled.

"Ms. Taylor," the office secretary's voice came over the intercom. "The Grants are here for your meeting."

"Tell them I'll be with them in a few minutes," Kelly said into the intercom.

"I really need to get to the auditorium," Brenda looked at her watch. "We've spent so much time talking that if I don't leave now, I'm going to be late to rehearsal, and I don't want to give Tabitha anything else to gripe about."

"I'll see you tonight," Kelly said as Brenda headed for the door.

_Well, there you go. I'm not really sure I can see Dylan as a published poet, but I was having a hard time trying to figure out what to have him doing. I thought writing poetry made some sense and using a pen name would help with the parts that don't make much sense. I wasn't planning on bringing him to Beverly Hills at this point though so I needed some explanation for why he isn't there. Please let me know what you think. Also, I have a favor to ask people. Dinner's in the next chapter, and while I know that I want Donna and David to have two kids and what ages I want them to be, but I have no idea on gender. Should they have two boys, two girls, or one of each? Let me know in the reviews. Suggestions for Steve and Janet would also be great. I want them to have one or two kids in addition to Maddie, but haven't gotten any further than that in part because they won't be appearing until later. Thanks._


	3. Chapter 3

_First of all, thank you to my reviewers. Your feedback means a lot to me. I finished this chapter earlier today and had originally planned on editing and posting tomorrow, but I felt like getting it up sooner so I just gave it a quick proofread a few minutes ago. Therefore, I would like to apologize in advance for any typos and grammatical errors. I tried to catch them, but some undoubtedly got by mean. Also, there's more narration than I would have liked, but I was trying to give you guys some of the background so I apologize for that as well. Now, I can't think of anything else I have to say so on with the story._

Chapter 3:

Kelly stood in her kitchen, getting ready for tonight's dinner. Looking around, she went through a mental checklist of where things stood. Brenda and the Silver family would be here in a few minute. The chicken parmesan was cooling and waiting to be put on a platter. The pasta was sitting in the colander while the sauce was still being warmed up. And the garlic bread was in the oven with two minutes left on the timer. Sammie was in the living room playing with the train set he had gotten from the Sanders for his birthday and Silver was in her room studying. Everything was in place.

Dinner was a tradition started by Kelly, the Silvers, and the Sanders nearly two years ago, after Brandon had been transferred from the hospital to the long-term care facility. After a few weeks, their friends had dispersed to get back to their own lives. After six weeks in the hospital, Brandon was sent to the Beverly Hills Nursing and Rehab Center. After nearly two months, the Walsh clan had made the painful decision to leave. Jim and Cindy would come down one week a month. They wanted to spend more time in Beverly Hills, but it wasn't that simple. Brenda would come home whenever she could and had tried to seek more and more work in LA since the accident. The rest of the gang did what they could, checking up on Kelly on mainly through phone calls and visiting occasionally. She routinely heard from Dylan, Andrea, Clare, Noah, and even Valerie. Although she expected the latter woman's actions were more out of love and respect for Brandon than any real concern for her. Regardless, the situation left David, Donna, Steve, and Janet as her primary support system, not counting her recovering alcoholic mother and teenaged sister.

The Silvers and the Sanders did everything they could to be there for Kelly, constantly checking in on her, trying to cheer her up, and rearranging their schedules so that someone could always spend time with her if needed. They would bring her food, watch Sammie whenever she asked, and were always an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on. It didn't take long for this to transform into a weekly dinner as a way to try to bring a sense of normalcy back into Kelly's life, and it did that. Their weekly dinners were the only time when Kelly really felt like things were okay. The three families and their kids would meet one night a week for dinner with hosting duties rotating between families. Brenda joined them whenever she was in town. Originally, it was on Friday nights, but when Kelly began visiting Brandon every Sunday, dinner was immediately moved to Sunday evenings so that they could make sure she was okay. Then a few months ago, David and Donna's six year old daughter, Olivia, began taking a dance class at 4 o'clock on Sunday so dinner got moved to Monday. The dinners had been good for her, and Kelly knew that it was just one of many things that they had given her over the past two years. Really David, Donna, Steve, and Janet were the only reason she was here today. She got up every morning and lived for her son, but it was the four of them who had made that possible.

The sound of the timer going off pulled Kelly from her thoughts. Grabbing the oven mitts, Kelly pulled the garlic bread out of the oven. At the same time the doorbell rang, startling her.

"Damn it," she cursed as her finger slipped and she burned herself. Running her hand under water, she called out "Silver, can you get the door please?"

"Hey guys," Kelly heard Silver say as she opened the door. "Kel, everyone's here."

"I'm in the kitchen," Kelly called back as she rummaged through the kitchen looking for a bandage.

"What no hug for your sister-in-law," Donna joked as she entered the house.

"I saw you the other day," Silver said as she moved to embrace the woman.

"Something smells good," David said as he headed for the kitchen.

"That's normally Steve's line," Kelly called out as she finally found a band aid. "I really need to clean out these drawers," she mumbled to herself.

"Yeah well he's not coming," David retorted.

"Silver, look at Brenda's hand," Donna said excitedly as the teenager broke from her embrace.

"Oh my God!" Silver yelled as she saw the ring on Brenda's finger. "When did that happen?"

"Saturday," Brenda answered. "And before any of you guys ask for details, I promised Kelly I'd give them over dinner."

"Speaking of dinner, you guys want to help me put everything on the serving plates and bring it into the dining room so we can eat?" Kelly asked since Silver and the adults had entered the kitchen.

"Sure," Donna replied as she started taking the garlic bread off the baking sheet.

"Hey, where's my niece and nephew," Silver asked as she looked around for David and Donna's two children, Olivia and their three year old son James. "I haven't gotten to see them yet."

"In the living room," Brenda answered while pouring the sauce on the pasta. "It looks like your other nephew is busy showing off the new train set."

"Kids, dinner's ready," Kelly called a few minutes later as she brought the chicken parmesan into the dining room.

"Mommy, Sammie's train set is awesome!" James exclaimed as the kids entered the dining room. "Can I have one?"

"Your birthday's in a few months sweetie," Donna replied. "Why don't you ask when it gets closer? Meanwhile I'm sure you can play with your cousin's."

"Hey James," Kelly said. "Steve and Janet gave that to Sammie. Ask them to get you one for your birthday."

Once everyone was seated, Kelly and Donna put food on their children's plates and cut the chicken into bite size pieces while everyone else served themselves and started eating. Finally, the women served themselves.

"So details," Kelly looked squarely at Brenda as she bit into a piece of garlic bread.

"Well," Brenda began once she had swallowed. "I told you guys it was Saturday. I had slept in and when I got up, Dylan was in the kitchen putting stuff in a picnic basket. I was a little confused because I don't have a picnic basket here, but he told me that he gotten up early and gotten up early and gone out and bought it. That should have gotten me thinking that something was up, but it didn't so I told him I wanted to shower before we went anywhere. We wound up going to the beach which made me laugh because only in LA can you have a picnic on the beach in February. The beach was where we had out quote unquote first kiss after getting back together this last time. Dylan had packed salads and sandwiches and chocolate cake for dessert. The pieces of cake were different sizes, and when we got to dessert Dylan kept insisting I take the bigger one even though I didn't want to. I gave in, telling him that I wasn't going to finish it. When I was about half way through, it my fork hit something hard. I wanted to stop eating figuring that something was wrong with the cake, but Dylan told me to just eat what I could around the hard spot. I thought it was weird, but at this point, I was finally beginning to suspect that something was up so I did. That's when I noticed something shiny in the cake, which was of course the ring, and I'm not going to tell you exactly what he said because that's private."

"How romantic," Donna sighed.

"It was very romantic," Brenda smiled. "Although its hard to believe that after all this time and a few breakups, Dylan and I are actually getting married."

"Well you know what they say," Kelly said. "Third time's the charm. Just look at David and Donna and me and Brandon." A wave of sadness washed over Kelly as she thought of her husband and how he wasn't here with them celebrating his sister's engagement.

"Yeah, but technically it was more than three times for all of you," Brenda replied, thinking of the short-term breakups that had often characterized her friends' relationships.

"Things like Emma and David's drug problem don't count," Kelly retorted.

"Do you have to bring that up in front of my kids?" David asked. "I'd like them to think I'm perfect."

"Sorry, but even they can't be that blind" Kelly teased.

"Is everything okay?" Donna asked as she noticed a change in Brenda's demeanor.

"Yeah. Of course," Brenda lied.

"Bren," David pushed.

"It's nothing," Brenda replied.

"You know you can tell us," Kelly pushed as well.

"Okay," Brenda gave in. "I guess I'm just feeling guilty."

"Why?" Kelly was confused.

"Because of when and how Dylan and I got back together," Brenda admitted.

"Huh?" Silver asked.

"Dylan and I got back together about two years ago," Brenda began. "After Brandon's accident, Dylan was there for me. I leaned on him a lot. I think that we had both known that we still loved each other, but we had also accepted that we were two different people at two different places in our lives and that we wouldn't be getting back together regardless of whether or not we wanted to. Then seeing Brandon like that and what Kelly was going through made us realize just how precious time and love are. We realized that when you have something special and when you want something, you can't just put it off or let it go, which is what we had been doing, so we decided to give our relationship another chance. I'm grateful to have Dylan back. The problem is that at the same time, I can't help but think that without the accident, maybe we wouldn't be together, but everything and everyone else would be okay." Brenda looked guiltily at Kelly.

"It's okay," Kelly said as she wiped a tear from her eye. "If I can't be happy and with the man I love, I'm glad that you guys can be."

"Mommy, why you so sad?" Sammie interjected.

"It's nothing sweetie," Kelly said. "It looks like you and your cousins are all done so why don't you take them back into the living room to play. Okay?"

"Come on guys," Sammie said energetically as he ran back into the living room.

"Why don't we talk about something less depressing," Donna said once the kids had left the room. "Guess who was just promoted?"

"Congratulations big brother," Silver said, knowing that Donna was self-employed.

"Thank you," he replied. "You are now looking at the new Director of Music for all of Twentieth Century Fox. I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to be doing, but I won't be putting together soundtracks for specific films anymore."

"Maybe you could use your new found power and connections to get Brenda some film roles," Kelly half seriously requested.

"Hey," Brenda pretended to be offended. "I don't need help getting jobs. Besides I would much rather be on the stage than in movies."

"Yeah, but if you did movies, you could spend more time in LA with us," Donna informed her.

"Depends on the movie," Brenda replied. "We'll see, but if I do decide to do movies, I won't need David's help."

"So Donna, what's been going on with you?" Silver asked her sister-in-law.

"Not much. My spring line's almost ready to be shipped out," Donna had successfully transformed her fashion design talents into three boutiques in California, two in LA and one in San Francisco, as well as an exclusive deal with Macy's to sell her clothing line (in addition to the boutiques of course).

"How about some dessert?" David asked.

"Again, that's normally Steve's line," Kelly joked.

"And again he's not here," David laughed. "But seriously if we don't get to dessert, you ladies will just sit here and talk all night."

"Okay, I'll go get it," Kelly got up and headed into the kitchen.

_Sorry if the ending seems kind of abrupt. I had gotten through everything I wanted to and figured that I could see an episode ending like this so I went with it. After the first chapter, I told you guys that missing pieces were intentional and would be explained with time. Well, I'm ready to start filling the blanks in with a little tidbit from the Brandon and Kelly story in the next chapter. I hope to start it in the next few days, but you could always try to motivate me to start it sooner ; ). Have a good weekend everybody._


	4. Chapter 4

_As usual, I'd like to begin with a thank you to all my reviewers. You're feedback means a lot to me. Since the last update, I've enabled the anonymous reviews (hint hint). I had planned on having this be a shorter chapter and expected to have it finished a day or two ago. However, the chapter got away from me and ideas just started flowing so it turned into the longest chapter I've written. Add that with the fact that I had less time on my hands than I thought I would, and it took me some extra time. I've decided to use flashbacks sporadically throughout the story to fill in the blanks (although they won't be filled in chronologically but in an order that I think makes sense with the story). Anytime you see a large portion of the chapter in italics, that's a flashback. Now onto the chapter. Enjoy!_

Chapter 4:

"I'll see you tomorrow," Kelly called as Brenda became the last person to leave Kelly's house. The Silvers had left half an hour ago in order to get the kids to bed before their bedtime, but Brenda had opted to stay for a little while in order to play with Sammie.

" Hey kiddo," Kelly entered the living room. "It's time to get you to bed."

"Can't I play more?" Sammie looked up at Kelly, his blue eyes begging her. All she could see were Brandon's eyes staring at her, working her the same way Brandon could with his eyes.

"Five more minutes," she gave in. "That's it unless you don't want story time." She sat back on the couch and watched her son play.

"Time for bed," Kelly said a few minutes later.

"Okay," Sammie sighed, not willing to risk story time to argue.

After ten minutes, Sammie's teeth were brushed and he was in his pajamas, tucked under the covers. Kelly grabbed _Arthur Meets the President_ and sat down next to her son.

"Goodnight sweetie," she said as she kissed his forehead when she finished the book. Then turning off the light, she left the room, closing the door behind her. As she walked down the hall, she heard noise coming from Silver's room. Kelly knocked on the door before letting herself in.

"Aren't you supposed to be studying?" Kelly asked having discovered Silver talking on her cell phone.

"Hold on Annie," Silver said as she put the phone on her bed. "Kel, Annie's in crisis. I need to talk to her."

"Alright," Kelly told her. "But make sure you study some more tonight. You spent two hours with everyone tonight and you do have the big English test tomorrow. The last thing I need is for Mr. Matthews to have some other reason to harass me."

"He's still bothering you?" Silver asked. "I'll set him straight after class tomorrow."

"Silver, stay out of it," Kelly warned as she headed for the door. "He's still your teacher, and this shouldn't affect you. Now just talk to Annie and study."

Downstairs, Kelly started to clean up the mess that Sammie, James, and Olivia had made while playing in the living room, but between Brenda's story and the book she had read Sammie, she couldn't help being overwhelmed with memories.

~*~*~

_Kelly lay in bed despite the fact that it wasn't even dinner time. She was curled up under the covers and was watching the last few minutes of Oprah. There was a box of tissues on the bed and a mound of them piled on the floor as she kept missing the trashcan when dropping them over the side of the bed._

"_Kel," she heard Brandon call as he entered the apartment. _

"_In here," she called out before breaking into a coughing fit._

"_You're home early. You okay?" Brandon entered the room and a look of concern spread across his face as he noticed Kelly's condition._

"_So are you," she retorted. "I left work early. I think I have the flu."_

_Brandon walked towards the bed, stepping on the tissues, and leaned in to kiss Kelly. She pushed him away though._

"_Don't come too close, Brandon," she said. "I don't want to get you sick."_

"_Oh I think I can handle it," he sat down at the edge of the bed and taking her hand in his. "Besides, a little TLC may be just what the doctor ordered." He leaned in and kissed her forehead before she pushed him away again. This time though she jumped out of bed and made a beeline for the bathroom._

"_So kissing me makes you sick now," Brandon joked as he sat down next to the toilet and began stroking Kelly's back._

"_It's not you. It's me," Kelly said once she could, laughing half-heartedly at what she was saying. It sounded like she was about to break up with him. "I know that sounds all cliché and everything, but in this case its true. It's this damn flu. I feel awful, and I keep puking. I just want to curl up and make it all go away._

"_You know what," she continued. "I love you, but I don't think it's TLC the doctor ordered. I think it's ginger ale. We don't have any; I checked. Would you mind you mind going out and getting some?"_

"_Not at all," Brandon wrapped his arms around her. "But first let's get you back to bed. Unless you'd rather stay in here?"_

"_No. Bed sounds good," Kelly said. They got up and walked back to the bedroom, where Brandon helped get Kelly back under the covers._

"_Be back soon. I love you," Brandon kissed her goodbye._

"_Brandon wait," Kelly called as he headed towards the bedroom door. "Why'd you come home early?" She didn't mean to pry, but she wanted to make sure everything was okay with him._

"_Well, I finished my article for tomorrow's paper early, and I have a surprise for you so I figured I'd come back and set up a romantic evening," he explained._

"_Sorry I ruined it," Kelly apologized._

"_Don't worry about it," Brandon replied. "I hate seeing you sick, but I like taking care of you."_

"_What was the surprise?" Kelly asked sweetly._

"_I got a call this afternoon. The deal to sell my condo in DC is almost done. I have to go out there in two weeks to tie up some of the loose ends so we can close," he began. Brandon had come back to LA about three months before to be with Kelly. He had gotten a job at the LA Times and moved in with her._

"_No wonder you were planning a romantic evening," Kelly cut in. "You wanted to soften me up to tell me that you were going away."_

"_Not quite," Brandon continued. "I thought __**we**__ would go away. When I got off the phone, I booked two plane tickets and a hotel for us. If you want to that is."_

"_Of course I want to," Kelly smiled. "The two of us together in Washington again, huh?"_

"_Yeah," Brandon said. He turned and walked towards the door beaming. Kelly had absolutely no idea what was really going on. Everything was going to be perfect._

_***_

"_You know this is the first time I've been in Washington for some reason other than visiting you," Kelly informed Brandon as they walked into their hotel after a tour of the White House followed by dinner on their first day in the nation's capital. They had an overnight layover and had gotten in around lunchtime. It was Saturday and they were here through Monday, when Brandon would meet with the real estate agent._

"_Really?" Brandon smiled as they got in the elevator, realizing she was telling the truth._

"_Yeah. Until I came out to surprise you when you were here with the task force, I had never been, and then I never came back until we got back together and I would come out to spend time with you," Kelly explained as they exited the elevator on the fifth floor. "Except for the airport, everything I've seen in this city, I've only seen with you."_

"_Well that just makes this place special," Brandon wrapped one arm around Kelly as he opened the door to room 512 and followed her in._

"_Special indeed," Kelly replied as she wrapped her arms around him. They kissed and Kelly fell back on the bed, pulling Brandon with her._

_***_

_The next morning, Brandon woke before Kelly. He crept out of bed and quickly threw on some clothes, skipping the shower because it would take too long and probably wake Kelly. For his plan to work she had to be asleep when he left. Besides, he could always take a more enjoyable one with her later. Quietly, he opened a compartment in his suitcase, grabbing what he had hidden in there and slipped out the door._

_Thirty minutes later, Kelly awoke. Not feeling Brandon's arms around her, she reached to his side of the bed, only to find it empty._

"_Brandon," she called as she sat up. Not getting an answer, she got up and checked the room. He wasn't in the bathroom or hiding anywhere in the bedroom. Where was he? Kelly grabbed her cell phone to call him, only to hear his ring. Wherever he had gone, he had forgotten to take his phone. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door._

"_Must have forgotten his key," Kelly muttered to herself._

"_Room service," came a man's voice from the other side of the door, wiping that thought out of Kelly's head. Confused, Kelly opened the door._

"_You must have the wrong room," she told the man. "I didn't order room service, and my boyfriend's disappeared so I doubt he did."_

"_But I did," Brandon said as he stepped into the doorway, turning his attention to the man, he gave him the money in his hand and continued. "Here you go. I can take it from here."_

"_Brandon, what is going on?"Kelly questioned him as he pulled the room service tray into the room._

"_I thought I would surprise you and we could enjoy breakfast together," Brandon explained. "So why don't you get dressed, and I'll set everything up."_

"_You know this is eerily familiar," Kelly said as she pulled her tank top over her head._

"_It is?" Brandon pretended to have no idea what she was talking about._

"_Yes, and I know you remember so don't play dumb with me mister," Kelly playfully slapped his chest._

"_Why don't you just take a seat and enjoy?" Brandon suggested. _

"_Not until you tell me what you're up to?" Kelly replied._

"_All in due time, Kel," Brandon told her. "If you don't join me for breakfast, you won't find out." He had suspected she would be onto him by this point, but he hadn't expected her to make things this difficult._

"_Fine," Kelly gave in._

_Already sitting, Brandon took the cover off his food, revealing an omelet, two pieces of toast, and bacon, as Kelly sat down. He picked up his fork and knife as if he was going to start eating but didn't. Even though he was pretty sure of how everything would go, he was still too nervous to actually eat._

"_Aren't you going to eat anything?" Kelly noticed that Brandon was just holding his silverware as she took the cover off of her own food._

"_Oh my God," Kelly gasped as she noticed a beautiful diamond ring sitting in the middle of her plate. Looking up, she saw Brandon get up, walk towards her, and then get down on one knee. She felt him, take her shaking hands in his._

"_Kel, I'm sure by now you've figured out that none of this was a coincidence. This hotel, this very room; we're here for a reason. Nine years ago today, I was asleep in that bed, and you surprised me with room service. We found each other that day. We were finally ready to give into our feelings and begin a journey together. It's that journey that has brought us to where we are today._

"_I know I've done this before, and it hasn't exactly worked out. We've always found our way back to each other though, and I think that says something about us. After all these years, all the proposals and break ups, the only thing that's changed is that—I don't know how its possible—but somehow I love you more now. I like having you in my world Kelly; I want you to stay in it for the rest of our lives."_

_Wiping a tear from her eye, Kelly smiled as she heard a version of the words she had uttered all those years ago repeated back to her._

"_Kelly Taylor, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"Brandon asked._

"_Yes! Yes!" Kelly exclaimed as she got down and threw her arms around Brandon. "Of course I'll marry you!"_

"_There's just one condition," Kelly added as Brandon was putting the ring on her finger._

"_What is it?" he asked, getting nervous once again._

"_That this time the wedding won't be called off," she told him._

"_Never again. I learned my lesson the last time," he replied as he pulled her into a deep kiss._

"_One more thing," Kelly said once the kiss was over. "You could have taken care of everything with the condo from home, couldn't you?"_

"_Yes," he admitted as he kissed her again._

~*~*~

With tears flowing from her eyes, Kelly focused on cleaning the living room. Once the last toy was put away, she got up and headed upstairs, making a stop in Silver's room.

"Studying?" Kelly asked as she peaked her head in.

"Yes," Silver replied without looking up.

"Well make sure you get some sleep. You'll need it if you want to do well on that test," Kelly told her.

"Yes, Ms. Taylor," Silver replied, realizing that a combination of the guidance counselor and legal guardian in Kelly was coming out.

"Well good night," Kelly said.

"You okay, Kel?" Silver asked, having finally looked up and noticed her sister's tear-stained face.

"Yeah," Kelly answered. "Just got a little emotional. No big deal."

"You sure?" Silver prodded.

"Yes," Kelly responded. "I'm fine. Besides, I'm supposed to be the one taking care of you, not the other way around." With that, Kelly closed the door and headed back into the hall.

Her next stop was Sammie's room. She opened the door and simply stood in the doorway, watching her son sleep peacefully while sucking his thumb. He looked so adorable. If only Brandon could see him. Shaking those thoughts away, she wiped a tear away from her eye as she tried not to cry again.

Entering the master bedroom, she put her own pajamas on and headed for the master bathroom. After brushing her teeth, she opened the medicine cabinet, reaching in and picking up the bottle of anti-depressants her therapist had prescribed. Kelly held them in her hand for a few minutes, simply staring at them, before putting them back. For the first time in two years, she decided not to take them.

Back in her bedroom, Kelly sat on her bed, holding a picture of Brandon and crying.

"I love you. Come back to me," she whispered as she put the picture down. "God, I don't know if you're up there or not, but please, if you are, bring Brandon back please. I don't know how much longer I can go on without him. I know I've been asking for a long time and that you haven't answered, but if you do, I promise I'll go to church every Sunday, observe every holiday, do everything I'm supposed to do. Just bring him back," she begged as she curled up on her bed and continued to cry.

"Good night Brandon," Kelly said to his picture once the tears had stopped. Getting under her covers, she turned over and closed her eyes, looking forward to spending her dreams with Brandon.

_So how'd I do with the B/K proposal? I know I gave you all that B/K happiness just to snatch it away and replace it with more Kelly torture. It's something that Kelly needs to go through though, and I should warn you that things will get worse for her. She'll survive it in the end though, I promise you that._


	5. Chapter 5

_I would like to begin by thanking my reviewers. This is my quickest update yet. Aren't you guys proud of me?_

Chapter 5:

Kelly walked into the West Beverly Hills High School cafeteria. She had originally planned on meeting Donna for lunch. Unfortunately, Olivia had woken up with a fever so Donna cancelled lunch and would be working from home. Brenda was reluctantly at an audition to play a patient on an episode of _ER_. Her agent had convinced her that since she was in LA she needed to audition for some guest spots on television shows even though her heart was in theater. The situation left Kelly lunchless and with no one to go out with, meaning that despite her usual attempts to avoid eating in the cafeteria, she didn't have a choice today. The food wasn't very good when she was a student and in the years since, it hadn't gotten much better. Quickly, glancing over the menu, she realized that Wednesday was meatloaf day. No thank you.

"Kelly," Ryan's voice came from behind her. He had come in right after her and then followed her to the salad bar. "Your sister did very well on her test yesterday. I'm going to be passing them back in class this afternoon."

"Great. I'm sure Silver could have told me though," Kelly said. Anticipating where he was going with this she continued, "Now what do I have to do to get you to leave me alone?"

"I'm not sure why you'd want to," he replied. "But if you'll just go out with me once, I promise I won't push anything after that if you don't want to. Still, I think I could show you a really good time and you'd be up for more."

"You're a little too full of yourself for my taste," she informed him as she filled up her bowl.

"Come on, Kelly. Just this once," he started following her back to her office. "I really like you and think we could have a really good time. If you allowed yourself to just feel it and stop letting your husband be an obstacle, I think you'd feel the same way."

"If I say yes, will you stop following me?" Kelly asked. His stalkerish tendencies were starting to get on her last nerve.

"Sure," Ryan told her.

"Then fine," Kelly reluctantly gave in. "If having dinner with you is what it'll take for you to leave me the hell alone, then I'll have dinner with you. Don't expect me to have fun though because I won't."

"Yes!" he shouted excitedly.

"There are some ground rules though," Kelly continued. "First of all, this is not a date. We have dinner as colleagues, nothing more. The minute you try anything, I am out of there. Secondly, for once you actually respect me. Finally, no movies, no plays, nothing but a meal. Understand?"

"Sure," Ryan was beaming. "Friday at 7 sound good?"

"Whatever," Kelly replied.

"One more thing," she added. "You make me sick. The way you obsess over me. You have serious issues. The way you degrade my husband and his condition. You just expect me to act like he's dead and never meant anything to me. As far as I'm concerned, you are a pathetic excuse for a human being. The truth is you'd be lucky to be half the man he is and find something that's half as special as what he and I have." With that, Kelly walked into her office and slammed the door.

"Egotistical asshole," she muttered as she sat down and ate her salad. Brenda was going to pay for putting the idea of actually going out with him into her head. Once she was done eating, she grabbed her cell phone.

"Hey, you've reached Brenda Walsh," Brenda's voicemail informed Kelly. "I'm busy right now, but leave one and we'll see if I call you back."

"Hey Bren," Kelly said after the tone. "Call me when you get this. You owe me."

After Kelly hung up, she started thinking about ways to make sure that after Friday, Ryan Matthews would never want to go out with her again. Five minutes later she was interrupted by her cell phone ringing.

"Bren," she said without even checking was calling.

"Sorry," she heard a man's voice say. "Ms. Taylor, this is Jeff Duncan with the District Attorney's Office."

"What happened to Alex Gibson," Kelly asked.

"He decided to switch over to the other side. I've taken over Vince Davis's case," ADA Duncan informed her. "Anyways, I'm calling to let you know that Davis was paroled this morning."

"What," Kelly screamed furiously into the phone. "Why wasn't I informed that there was a hearing this morning? Don't you people have an obligation to let me know these things in advance? It's my husband he put in a coma."

"I understand that you're upset," he told her. "But I left a message on your answering machine late last week—"

"I never got it," she cut him off. Damn that answering machine. She knew over a year ago that she needed to replace it, but she couldn't bring herself to. There was a message from Brandon on it and the thought of losing that message and not being able to use the machine to hear his voice was too painful so no matter how many problems she had with it, she never even considered replacing the machine. Now she was paying for it.

"I'm sorry about that," ADA Duncan continued. "When Alex left and his files were shifted to other ADAs some papers went missing. Your contact information was included in that. Another ADA found it in the wrong file last night. I was able to find your home phone number in the phone book but not anything else. As I was saying, Davis has been on his best behavior while in prison, doing everything that was asked of him. The space in California prisons is limited. According to the terms of Davis's plea bargain—"

"A deal that never should have been made," Kelly cut the ADA off again. "The man kills three people and puts another person in a coma and gets eighteen to thirty six months. What kind of justice is that? And don't give me that it was an accident crap. He shouldn't have been driving and everyone knows it."

"The deal was in everyone's best interests and there are far worse crimes," Duncan calmly tried to tell her.

"Bull," Kelly was getting angrier by the minute. "You're just another bureaucrat giving me the same bureaucratic garbage that Alex Wilson gave me two years ago. You should have given me more than one phone call. I would have been there. Someone needed to be there to speak up for all the lives he ruined. I prevented his parole six months ago, and maybe I could have done the same today." With that she slammed her cell phone shut.

"Damn it," she yelled as she picked up a glass paper weight from her desk and hurled it into the door, causing it to shatter into a million pieces.

"Is everything alright?" the principal, Harry Wilson, asked as he knocked on her door.

"Just dandy," Kelly said sarcastically as he opened the door.

"I'll call the custodial staff to get that cleaned up," Beth, the office secretary, said looking at the mess on the floor.

"Before you do that, can you reschedule all my appointments for the rest of the day," Kelly asked while fighting to hold back tears. "I need to get out of here."

"Of course," Beth said.

With that, Kelly grabbed her purse and headed for the door. As she got closer to the school doors, she started to run. Reaching her car, she opened the door and then slammed it shut. She just sat there for a while staring out the windshield, finally allowing herself to cry. She was the only one left to represent the victims and make sure that justice was served. Just like with the plea bargain, she hadn't been able to do so. How would she tell Jim and Cindy or Brenda? How would she face her son knowing that she hadn't been able to prevent the man who took his father away from getting out of jail?

Once the tears stopped, Kelly left the West Beverly parking lot. She didn't know where she was going; all she knew was that she needed to get out of there. For a while she just drove around in a fog. After half an hour, she found herself outside the Beverly Hills Nursing and Rehab Center. Although she was unsure of how she got there, Kelly decided to go inside and visit Brandon. There was no reason to waste this opportunity. Besides, she now needed to apologize to him.

"Good afternoon Kelly," Connie said when Kelly arrived on Brandon's floor. The nurse stood by a medicine cart near the nurse's station, looking over a chart.

Instead of responding, Kelly simply walked by, half dazed. Ignoring her usual routine, she went straight into Brandon's room and sat down on the bed next to her husband. For a few minutes, she just looked at him. Even with him in a coma, she wasn't sure how to tell her husband about Vince Davis being paroled. Finally, she took his hand in hers, ready to attempt to get the words out.

"I'm so sorry," she began before taking a deep breathe as her eyes started to water. "I failed you." Unable to say anymore, she simply collapsed on top of him. With her head resting over his heart, she began to cry once again.

_So what did you think? As a warning, my schedule is pretty hectic over the next two weeks. I'm going to try to at least start chapter 6 before things get too bad, but I have no idea when I'll be able to finish it._


	6. Chapter 6

_First of all, I would like to apologize for the long wait. I though I was going to be really busy, and I was right. Hopefully, I'll be able to get back to updating about once a week now that things look like they're calming down. As for this chapter, what I'm posting now was originally supposed to be about half, maybe two-thirds, of chapter six. However, I feel bad about how long it's been so since I reached a good stopping point, I figured I'd post what I have and make the rest chapter seven. As always, thanks to my reviewers. Now on with the story._

Chapter 6:

Kelly walked into her house with a pizza in her hands. After four hours with Brandon, most of which was spent crying and apologizing, she didn't have the energy or desire to cook dinner. Really all she wanted to do was curl up in bed and pretend that today was simply a bad dream. Unfortunately, that wasn't an option. She needed to call Jim and Cindy in Minnesota to let them know about the parole board's decision; she also needed to call Brenda. Her sister-in-law had returned her call two hours ago, but Kelly had simply ignored it, not ready to tell Brenda what had just happened.

"Good evening, Ms. Taylor," Sammie's babysitter got up from the floor.

"Hi Esther," Kelly replied as she entered the living room. "Would you like to stay for dinner? It's just pizza, but you're more than welcome to." Kelly felt bad about making Esther stay late without any warning or any indication of when she would be home.

"Thanks for the offer, but I need to be getting home," Esther grabbed her purse. "Bye Sammie. I'll see you tomorrow."

Once Esther had left, Kelly headed into the kitchen and put the pizza down on the table. Then she headed back into the living room. Getting down on the floor, she just watched her son play for a few minutes. It wasn't fair. He didn't deserve to not have his father in his life, to not know him. The two of them should be best buddies. Brandon had always wanted kids. After her miscarriage, when she had been told that she couldn't have any, she felt horrible about the fact that she wouldn't be able to give him any. Sammie was their miracle, and Brandon had been so excited when she told him she was pregnant.

~*~*~

_Kelly lit two candles in the center of the table as she waited for her husband to come home. Looking around the one bedroom apartment she thought about how if everything went well, they would need a bigger place to live. She couldn't wait to tell Brandon her news; she was thrilled and nervous and knew he would be too. It was important for her to focus on the excitement and push the nervousness to the back of her mind. There were too many risks for negativity. Hearing the door open, Kelly smoothed out her dress and waited for Brandon to walk into the kitchen._

"_Mmmm, something smells good," Brandon said as he entered the room. Looking around, he tried to remember if he was forgetting anything. It wasn't their anniversary or either of their birthdays. As far as he knew, it was just a random Tuesday in July. "What's the occasion?"_

"_No occasion," Kelly answered not wanting to tell him her news just yet. "I just felt like doing this. Who says we can't enjoy a nice evening together?"_

"_I like the way you think," Brandon wrapped his arms around his wife. _

"_I'm glad," she smiled as he began to kiss her neck. "I made salad and salmon and brownies." She hadn't planned on making the brownies, but she had been craving them._

"_Sounds good," he said seductively. "I think it can wait though."_

"_Do you?" she replied as her stomach growled._

"_I do," he answered. "But it sounds like your body has other ideas."_

"_Sorry," she sheepishly replied as she grabbed some salad._

_The couple went back and forth between small talk and flirting with each other during the meal. Then when they were about half-way through the salmon, Kelly decided it was time to bring up a more serious subject._

"_You know I've been thinking," she began. "I want to buy a house."_

"_A house?" Brandon questioned, not sure where this was coming from._

"_Yeah," she told him. "I know we've only been married for a few months and that this apartment is special because it's the first home we've really picked out together, but I think its time."_

"_You know when Steve finds out that we're looking for a house, he's going to offer us Casa Walsh again," he informed her._

"_Well, we said no last time, and we'll say no again," she answered. "Wait, does this mean you want to do this?"_

"_If you want a house, then I want a house," he replied._

"_Good because there's more I need to tell you," she began. "You know how I haven't been feeling well?"_

"_Yeah," Brandon sounded worried. "I wish you had let me go to the doctor's with you the other day. Is everything okay?"_

"_Well, I told you that Dr. Young ran some tests. She got the results back today," Kelly began to answer his question. "What I didn't tell you was that one of those tests was a pregnancy test."_

"_What? Pregnancy?" Brandon was confused. "Why?"_

"_I didn't tell you because I figured it was impossible, and I didn't want you to get your hopes up," she explained._

"_That's not what I meant," he said._

"_She ran the test because apparently, I have all the classic symptoms, and as she put, 'doctors can be wrong, medical conditions can change, and miracles can happen,'" Kelly caught on to what he meant. "And it's a good thing she did because she was right. We've had a miracle. Brandon, I'm two months pregnant."_

"_Oh my God," he beamed as he got up and pulled Kelly into his arms. "We're having a baby!"_

"_Yeah, we are," she smiled timidly._

"_Wait a minute," he said as a look of concern and confusion spread over his face once again. "What about the endometriosis? Does this mean it's gone?"_

"_Not quite," Kelly answered. "It's still there. Even with all her talk about miracles, Dr. Young was surprised that I was able to carry a baby this far. The fact that I'm this far along significantly decreases the chances of my condition causing a miscarriage, but it's still a high risk pregnancy. There's a lot of things I can't do and at some point I'm going to wind up of bed rest. According to Dr. Young, the odds of my being able to carry this baby to term are about fifty percent, and there's a forty percent chance that the baby will be stillborn." She wiped a tear from her eye as she explained the grim statistics_

"_Well, then, we'll just have to make sure that nothing happens to either of you," Brandon held Kelly tightly. "I'm going to do everything I can to take of you and the baby, especially you."_

~*~*~

_Author's Note: So I have no idea if all that endometriosis stuff is even plausible, but I wanted to do this flashback and figured I needed some way to work with Kelly's fertility problems so I made those statistics and stuff up. At least I'm trying not to leave too many loose ends._


	7. Chapter 7

_Sorry for the wait. I was hoping to get this out sooner, but I didn't have as much time as I thought I would. It looks like it might be this way for awhile, but I'll do my best to get things out as soon as possible. Hopefully, I'll be able to get back to updating once a week soon. As always, thanks to all my reviewers and enjoy!_

Chapter 7:

It was just after 7:30 when Kelly put the leftover pizza in the refrigerator while Sammie played in the living room and a concerned Silver sat at the kitchen table waiting for Kelly to talk to her.

"Is everything okay?" Silver asked once Kelly closed the refrigerator door.

"I'm fine," Kelly lied not wanting to tell her sister what had really happened earlier in the day. There was no reason to burden Silver. Besides the longer Kelly could avoid talking about it, the longer she could pretend it wasn't real.

Before Silver could question Kelly further, the phone rang. Kelly hoped it wasn't Brenda attempting to return her call again or any of her local friends for that matter. If it was Brenda, Kelly would have to tell her that Vince Davis had been paroled, and she wasn't sure how she would be able to hold it together long enough to tell any of the Walsh's. Plus, whether they blamed her or not their reaction and the accompanying disappointment and anger would be too much for her to bear. Even over the phone, Donna, David, Steve, and Janet would see, or in this case hear, right through her. Despite her denials, they would know something was wrong; her assurances would fall on deaf ears. One of her friends would be over as soon as possible in an attempt to make her feel better, and they would be accompanied by their spouse as long as they could find a babysitter.

Relief washed over her as she saw Andrea's cell phone number on the caller ID. Even with the likelihood that Andrea would be able to pry the truth out of Kelly, the fact that the women were on opposite sides of the country, would mean that she would simply be a reassuring voice over the phone.

"Silver, can you start getting Sammie ready for bed?" Kelly asked as she picked up the phone. "Hey Andrea."

"Hi Kel," Andrea's voice came through the phone. "How's everything back in Beverly Hills?"

"Everything's okay," she lied. "How about you?"

"Things are pretty good out here," Andrea informed Kelly. "Hannah made it into a mock trial competition so Jesse's thrilled, and I think I've managed to talk her into writing for the school paper next year."

"Sounds like she takes after both of you," Kelly said with a laugh. It was the first time in hours that she had done so, and she had to admit it felt good.

"Yeah she does," Andrea confirmed. "As for me, I'm doing all right. I had the graveyard shift the past few days so my body's a little messed up, but remember the new orthopedic surgery attending I told you about?"

"Yeah. Jimmie, right?" Kelly asked.

"Yes," Andrea replied. "We went out Saturday night, and it went really well. He even came in afterwards to meet Hannah."

"After one date?" Kelly inquired.

"Yeah. Its crazy isn't it?" Andrea said. "We're going out again on Monday because it's the first night we both have off. I know that it's way too early to say this, but I really think it could lead somewhere."

"Well, let's just hope that my date leads to the opposite result," Kelly said.

"You have a date?" Andrea was confused.

"Unfortunately," Kelly replied. "I agreed to go to dinner with Ryan Matthews, the English teacher whose been stalking me, on Friday. It was Brenda's idea, and hopefully, it'll get him off my back. If it doesn't, Brenda owes me big."

"So is that what's bothering you?" Andrea had found her way in.

" I don't know what you're talking about," Kelly answered.

"Come on Kelly," Andrea urged her. "We've been friends for almost twenty years. I think I know you well enough to know when something is wrong, and something is wrong."

"It's nothing," Kelly lied again. She hated lying to her friend, but the longer she could stall Andrea's inquiry, the more time she would have to figure a way out.

"I don't buy that," Andrea said matter-of-factly. "Whatever it is, it can only help to get it off your chest."

"If I tell you, you have to promise not to tell anyone," Kelly contemplated giving in. As much as she wanted to pretend that the phone call was a bad dream, she realized that it might be nice to be able to talk about it with someone. "You won't call anyone and tell them to come see me so that they can try to take care of me."

"I won't," Andrea reluctantly agreed. She hoped that whatever Kelly had to say wouldn't cause her to regret making this promise.

"I got a call from the District Attorney's office this afternoon," Kelly began before taking a deep breathe. "The guy who caused Brandon's accident had a parole hearing this morning, and thanks to an answering machine malfunction, I didn't know about it."

"I'm guessing he was paroled," Andrea said.

"Yeah. He was," Kelly said sadly. "He took Brandon away from me, and now he gets to walk out of that prison a free man. He gets to feel the air that Brandon should be feeling and see the things that he should be seeing. He gets to live his life, and my husband doesn't. It's not fair."

"No it's not," Andrea agreed. "I wish I knew what to say, but I don't. Just try not to dwell on it, it'll only make things worse."

"How can things get any worse?" Kelly asked rhetorically as she wiped a tear from her eye. By now she shouldn't have any more, but somehow she always manages to find them. "I went to see Brandon after I found out, and I couldn't even look at him. It's my fault. If I had been there, I could have prevented it."

"You don't know that," Andrea tried to reassure her. "There's a good chance he still would have been paroled. These things are often just a formality. There's a good chance you're presence and testimony before the parole board wouldn't have made a difference. Besides, he would have been released in six months or a year anyways. The guy spending a few more months in jail isn't going to magically make Brandon wake up."

"I know, but I still should have been there," Kelly said. "There was no one there to speak for the victim's, to represent them. God, I hate calling Brandon a victim, but he was. In a way, we all were even those of us who weren't in one of those cars, and there was no one there to represent us. Not my family or anyone else's."

"What about the man whose wife and children were killed in the accident?" Andrea asked.

"He's dead. Suicide. I guess the grief of losing everything that he lost was just too much for him," Kelly informed her friend. "I understand where he was coming from. I at least still have Sammie and the chance that Brandon will one day be okay. He lost everything."

"That's horrible," Andrea said. Wanting to turn the focus back to Kelly she continued, "Have you told the Walsh's or Brenda?"

"No," Kelly replied. "You're the only person I've told. I haven't told them or my sister or my son, not that Sammie would really understand. I don't know how, and honestly, I can't help feeling like if I don't say anything, then I can pretend it's not real. Besides, I don't think I could handle it if they blamed me."

"It's okay for you to blame yourself, but not for them to blame you?" Andrea didn't really understand where Kelly was coming from.

"As strange as it sounds, yes," Kelly said. "Me blaming myself is one thing, but if they blame me, I'll just feel worse about everything. I know they need to know, but I don't know if I can do it."

"You need to," Andrea told her.

"I know," Kelly said. "If only it was that simple."

"If it's any consolation, I don't think they'll blame you," Andrea again attempted to provide Kelly with some reassurance.

"I guess at some point we'll see," Kelly said matter-of-factly.

"I think you should call at least Jim and Cindy tonight. If you want, I'll help you figure out what to say," Andrea offered.

"Thank you. That'd be great," Kelly replied.

"Okay, first of all, you need to be honest with them," Andrea began. "Tell them what happened and how. Trust them to understand."

"What if they don't?" Kelly couldn't help asking.

"Kelly, this is Jim and Cindy. They may be Brandon's parents, but they love you too," Andrea reminded her.

"I know it's just—," Kelly started but didn't finish.

"Difficult," Andrea suggested.

"Yeah, it is," Kelly replied.

"Just trust them," Andrea repeated herself. "Like I said, be honest. Don't beat around the bush. Just tell them what happened and how, and trust that they'll understand."

"I don't think I should just blurt it out," Kelly responded.

"That's not what I meant," Andrea replied. "Ease into it, but don't stall."

"Okay, I think I can do that or at least try to," Kelly said. "Thanks Andrea. I think I'm ready to do this."

"Good," Andrea smiled. "Call me after you talk to Jim and Cindy, and let me know how it went."

"Bye," Kelly hung up the phone and walked around the kitchen in an attempt to calm her nerves. Heading back to the phone she took a deep breathe and dialed the Walsh's number.

"Hello," Cindy's voice came over the phone.

"Hi Cindy, it's Kelly," she said as she took another deep breathe. "I'm sorry if I woke you, but it's important. Is Jim there? There's something I need to tell both of you." There was no turning back now. When she got off the phone, her in-laws would know exactly what had happened.

_I hope the conversation between Kelly and Andrea didn't seem too rushed. It was something that I knew I wanted to do, but when it came to actually writing it, I struggled. I gave it my best though. Now the big date is coming up next so feel free try to motivate me to give this more of my attention that I probably should. Enjoy the holiday everyone : )._


	8. Chapter 8

_So it only took me a little over a week this time. Aren't you proud of me : ) ? As always, thanks to my reviewers. Now onto the chapter. Enjoy!_

Chapter 8:

"Hi Nat," Kelly smiled as she walked into the Peach Pit at lunchtime on Friday.

"Hey Kelly," Nat replied from behind the counter.

Kelly's smile turned to a frown as she noticed no sign of Brenda. She had to be back at West Beverly in forty five minutes for a meeting with a student. Maybe it would have been better to meet Brenda in her office at the high school, but her office didn't feel like the place to do what she had to do.

Her conversation with Jim and Cindy the other night had gone well. They hadn't blamed her at all, and instead tried to talk her out of blaming herself. Cindy had even said that it was probably better that she hadn't been there in person to hear the parole board's decision. Their attempts were futile, but the fact that they were so concerned about her was somewhat comforting. Her in-laws had even offered to tell Brenda for her, but Kelly felt like that was something she needed to do herself and in person. The Walsh's had agreed not to even mention anything to their daughter until Kelly had. As a result, she now found herself waiting for her sister-in-law.

"What can I get for you?" Nat's asked once Kelly had sat down at the only empty table in the diner.

"You're waiting tables?" Kelly was surprised.

"I'm short staffed today," he explained. "Besides, you're one of my favorite customers."

"Thank you," Kelly smiled. "I'll take a megaburger with fries and a coke, and Brenda, whenever she gets here."

"Coming right up," Nat replied. "Well, at least the food part."

"Sorry I'm late," Brenda's voice called as she rushed into the diner. "I got a call from my agent as I was getting ready leave. Guess who got the guest spot on _ER_?"

"Congratulations," Nat and Kelly said at the same time.

"I knew you'd get it, if I do say so myself," Nat added. "Now, what can I get you?"

"I'll have a Greek Salad and a water," Brenda replied.

"No burger?" Nat asked surprised.

"I'd love that, but I'm going to be playing a drug addict who OD's while wearing nothing but her bra and panties so until we film in a few weeks, I am on a diet, attempting to get my figure in shape," Brenda answered.

"Oh fun," Kelly cracked. "Your figures fine though."

"It's national television," Brenda said.

"What did Dylan say?" Nat asked.

"I haven't told him yet," Brenda responded. "It's the middle of the night there, and I'm not exactly looking forward to it. He's not exactly going to be happy about the whole world getting the opportunity to see me in nothing but the bare essentials."

"Good luck with that," Kelly said relieved that the subject hadn't yet turned to the reason she had asked Brenda to meet her. While her conversation with Jim and Cindy had helped, she still couldn't help being nervous about telling Brenda about Vince Davis's parole.

"I'll be back with your food shortly," Nat smiled as he headed back towards the kitchen.

"Thanks Nat," Kelly called after him.

"So why do I owe you?" Brenda asked, assuming that was the reason Kelly had wanted to meet her. She had attempted to pry it out of her sister-in-law when they had spoken over the phone the previous morning, but Kelly insisted on talking in person. Since Brenda had spent yesterday sick in bed, she found herself forced to wait an extra day.

"That's not important right now," Kelly replied. "There's something important I need to tell you. If it's appropriate and you don't hate me when I'm done, we can talk about that."

"Hate you?" Brenda was not expecting that.

"I got a call from the District Attorney's office after I called you on Wednesday," Kelly ignored Brenda's remark, afraid that if she didn't keep going, she'd lose her nerve.

"So the bastard's up for parole," Brenda commented. She was confused, not understanding why that would make Kelly think that she would hate her.

"No. He already was paroled," Kelly tried not to diverge too much from what she had planned to say. "His parole hearing was Wednesday morning. They had left me a message, but I never got it or I would have made sure you and your parents knew."

"Knowing before, knowing after, doesn't really make a difference," Brenda tried and failed to keep the disappointment out of her voice for Kelly's sake. She knew this day would come, but that didn't mean she had to like it. "Either way he's a free man."

"But he might not have been," Kelly continued. "I didn't know about it. I wasn't there. I couldn't try to stop it. If I had—"

"It probably wouldn't have made a difference," Brenda cut her off.

"You don't know that," Kelly said almost bitterly. "This could be all my fault."

"Kelly," Brenda was concerned.

"Come on Brenda, you have to be angry. Yell at me. Scream at me. Do something to get it out," Kelly attempted to persuade her.

"I am angry," Brenda said. "I'm angry at Vince Davis for causing that accident. I'm angry at the system for letting this happen. I am NOT angry at you."

"You should be," Kelly replied sadly. "It's my fault. You should blame me."

"How could I blame you?" Brenda asked rhetorically. "You didn't make any of this happen or want it to happen. If anything, I'm grateful to you. I have an awesome nephew because of you, and more importantly, you love my brother so much. I know that. I've seen it for years. You gave him so much. The happiest times of his life were the times he was with you. He told me that once, and I know that you know it too. Everything may have been cut short, but I know that Brandon would have rather have had it end this way than not have had you back in his life. The only thing he'd change is how much this kills you. He would never want to see you like this, and I don't either."

"You say that like he's never gonna wake up," Kelly got angry this time.

"There's a good chance he won't," Brenda said sadly. "Deep down you know that. You know what I think? You have been hurting so much for so long that the only thing that makes sense is for you to hurt more. You want to hurt more so you blame yourself for everything and deep down you want me to blame you to. That's why you've been trying to convince me that I should. The truth is though that I don't, and I shouldn't."

"You sound like my shrink," Kelly said sarcastically.

"Well good," Brenda replied.

"Yeah, it's great," Kelly continued with her sarcastic tone. "I get to go in once a week and talk to a virtual stranger about my life and Brandon and how much I love and miss him. Then she tries to tell me all about my problems. It's just dandy. The last thing I need is one of my best friends doing that too. I guess at least I don't have to tell you my life story."

"Kelly, she's good for you," Brenda said. "I would think that you of all people would know that and see the value in it."

"It's different when its' you," Kelly replied. "Besides, it's just another reminder of the fact that I've lost almost everything."

"But you still have so much. You have Sammie and your sister and your friends. We all love you, and we hate seeing what all of this has done to you," Brenda told her. "Look, Brandon's my twin. None of this has been easy for me. I love him and I miss him too, and I don't know what I would do if it were Dylan in that coma. I do know this though, you can't keep focusing on the fact that Brandon is in the bed and not with you. You need to focus on what you still have Kel or you're just going to keep drowning."

"Can we please just change the subject?" Kelly pleaded, not wanting to get into this with Brenda again.

"For now," Brenda agreed.

"Thank you," Kelly told her.

"Food's here," Nat called as he headed towards their table. Noticing the expression on both of their faces he continued. "Is everything okay?"

"Could be better," Kelly stated simply.

"We'll be okay," Brenda said. "Food should help. I'm starving." Her stomach growled to prove her point.

Nat put their food down and thought about staying and trying to get more information out of Kelly and Brenda. He had watched them become adults, and after all these years, he cared about them and the rest of the gang as if they were his own kids. However, before he had the chance, he was pulled away by another customer who needed his attention.

"So why is it that I owe you?" Brenda asked after eating her first forkful of salad.

"You actually want tot talk about that now," Kelly was surprised.

"Yes I do," Brenda informed her. "You call me all frantic about something, telling me that I need to call you immediately, and then leave me hanging for two days. I understand that part, but I've been dying to know what's up."

"Honestly, it's something else that I wish wasn't happening," Kelly said. "You need to know that I love Brandon more than anything. I'm not giving up on him, and I certainly am not moving on. Still, I suppose this will make you at least somewhat happy."

"Okay," Brenda said when Kelly paused for a moment. She had no idea where her sister-in-law was going with this."

"I took you're advice," Kelly continued. "I agreed to go out with Ryan Matthews."

"You what?" Brenda wanted to make sure she had heard Kelly correctly.

"Told Ryan Matthews I'd go out with him tonight," Kelly said again. "I'm only doing this to get him off my back. Him leaving me alone after tonight is a condition of my going out with him. I have no intention of having a good time and every intention of making sure he doesn't. He knows that as far as I'm concerned, this is not a date. It's just two colleagues having dinner."

"Isn't tonight kind of quick?" Brenda asked.

"That was not the reaction I was expecting," Kelly responded. "You're the one who told that going out with him might be the only way to get him off my back. Besides, I thought you wanted me to start dating and move on with my life. For goodness sakes, sometimes I think that you want me to forget about Brandon."

"You don't get it," Brenda replied. "It's not that I want you to get over my brother let alone forget about him. I never would want that, and I know you could never do that. It's not even about you dating. I've been worried about you for a long time. Everyone has. What I want for you is the same thing that everyone wants, and that's for you to live your life and find some way to be happy. It's not about moving on; it's about moving forward.

"Now as for tonight, what time's Ryan picking you up?" Brenda asked.

"Seven," Kelly said. "I tried to convince him to let me meet him at the restaurant. I exactly want him knowing where I live, but he wouldn't budge and I just gave up. Why?"

"Well, then, I will be over at six to help you get ready," Brenda explained.

"Bren, I don't need help," Kelly said. "It's not like this is a real date or anything. I'm just gonna throw on jeans and t-shirt. No jewelry. No makeup. Just plain ole Kelly."

"I figured you weren't planning on getting dressed up," Brenda replied. "I thought I could help you pick up the least date-like, least sexy outfit in your closet."

"Now that sounds like a plan," Kelly said as she finished her burger. Looking at her watch, she quickly added. "Crap. I'm late for meeting. I've got to run. I'll see you tonight."

With that Kelly threw some money on the table, grabbed her things, and raced towards the door.

_I know that some of you were looking forward to reading Kelly's conversation with Jim and Cindy, but obviously I decided not to write it. The reason is that I wanted the last chapter to be about Kelly's journey to being able to tell the Walsh's about the guy's parole and felt that to delve into the conversation would take away from that. Also, in my opinion, her conversation with Brenda is more important to the story and felt that including both would be kind of repetitive. On another note, I know I had promised that the date would start in this chapter. Like everything else with this story, Kelly's lunch with Brenda was far longer than I expected. Plus, I keep coming up with additional ideas for what to do with the date and the date prep so at this point I figured it made more sense to split it into two chapter. I'll get the date to you as soon as I can._


	9. Chapter 9

_Sorry for the delay. Just when I thought things were calming down, they got all crazy again. I guess that's just life though. I will do my best to get chapter ten out much quicker than I got chapter nine out. Anyways, I tried to make most of this chapter light since if I write them correctly, chapters ten and eleven will be pretty intense. That's all I'm saying on that front though ; ). As usual, thanks to all my reviewers. Enjoy!_

Chapter 9:

"Hey," Kelly said as she opened the door for Brenda.

"Hi," Brenda gave her sister-in-law a hug. "Where is everybody?"

"Sammie's sleeping over a friend's house and Silver is at the Pit with Annie," Kelly replied. "I was thinking, I'm just gonna call Ryan Matthews and tell him I changed my mind."

"I know you want to do that, but I also know you want him to leave you alone," Brenda said.

"And I have no guarantee that he will actually leave me alone from now on," Kelly said. "Yeah he said he would, but given the fact that his persistence borders on obsession, I have a hard time believing it."

"You'll never know if you don't go tonight," Brenda argued. "It's one dinner. Just a few hours, and then you can come back here and forget that it ever happened."

"Okay. Okay," Kelly sighed as she gave in. "We'll do this your way. Promise me you'll still be here when I get back."

"I can't," Brenda informed her. "I'm supposed to meet my agent later. He says its to celebrate the _ER_ guest spot, but I think he wants me to do more TV auditions."

"You deserve it," Kelly did her best to hide her disappointment.

"Thank you," Brenda replied. "Now let's go get you ready."

With that Kelly followed Brenda up the stairs and into the master bedroom. Once inside, Brenda headed straight for the walk-in closet and started flipping through some of Kelly's clothes. Noticing a pile of stuff in the corner, Brenda curiously began to ruffle through it while Kelly simply stood in closet's doorway.

"What's this?" Brenda noticed a box at the bottom of the pile. It was taped shut.

"Ummm," Kelly's face flushed red as she realized exactly what Brenda had found. "Those are all the things that I bought for Brandon's eyes only."

"Oh," Brenda stated simply, not wanting to think about that aspect of her brother's marriage. Still, curiosity got the best of her. "Why are they in a box buried in the closet?"

"After the accident, I had a hard time keeping them out knowing that Brandon wasn't here so there was no use for them so I buried them," Kelly explained. "That is one of the few things that has changed in this house in the past few years. Of course no one would know besides me and Brandon, if he were here."

"I'm sorry Kel," Brenda said once she noticed that her friend had gotten upset.

"It's okay. You didn't know," Kelly reassured her.

"This dress is beautiful," Brenda referenced a little black dress that hung near the back of Kelly's closet. "How come I've never seen you in it?"

"Because I've intentionally stopped wearing it," Kelly answered with a shaky voice. She really didn't want to keep having to get into this stuff. "It was Brandon's favorite. Of course he while always seemed more interested in helping me get out of the dress." Kelly let out a small chuckle while Brenda made a face.

~*~*~

"_Did I get all the tags?" Kelly asked, husband as he walked into their bedroom. She spun around so that he could get a better look._

_Instead of looking for tags Brandon just stared at her, taking in the beauty that was before him. The black velvet dress stopped a few inches below her waste, and the low-cut top accentuated her breasts while revealing just enough while the straps criss-crossed across her checks, wrapping around her neck._

"_Well?" Kelly impatiently asked as she reached for the necklace that she had left on her dresser. They had planned on leaving already._

"_I think so," Brandon said even though he wasn't really sure._

"_Good," Kelly replied. "Can you help me with this clasp?"_

"_Sure," he said as he walked up behind her. Once the clasp was fastened though, he stayed. Wrapping his arms around her waste, he pulled her into him and began kissing her neck._

"_Stop it," Kelly fought to get out in between moans. Brandon had immediately gone for her sensitive spot. Swatting him away, she continued. "We're already going to be late."_

"_I have a better idea," Brandon said as he kissed her again. "Why don't we skip dinner, stay in, get you out of this dress…" His voice trailed off suggestively._

"_Why Mr. Walsh, I do believe your head is in the gutter," Kelly teased him._

"_Only where you're concerned," he replied._

"_Seriously though, the babysitter's already here," Kelly said._

"_No distractions for us then," Brandon said sheepishly._

"_Brandon," she swatted him again. "I don't think it's appropriate to hire a babysitter just so we can have sex. Besides, we haven't been out since Sammie was born, and we have reservations at Spago."_

_"Spago can wait," Brandon tried to persuade her._

"_I promise you, it will be worth the wait," Kelly told him._

_***_

"_I still think we should have tipped the waiter," Kelly said as they walked into the house._

"_No way. The way he was looking at you and making excuses to come to our table was more than enough," Brandon replied. It had taken all of his restraint not to punch the guy out._

"_Good evening Mr. and Mrs. Walsh," the babysitter greeted them. "Sammie's asleep in his crib. He was a perfect angel."_

"_I'm glad to hear that Lucy," Kelly smiled while Brandon took some money out of his wallet._

"_Have a good evening," he said as he gave her the money. _

_Once Lucy left, Kelly headed upstairs followed by Brandon. She tried to head towards Sammie's room, but Brandon stopped her._

"_I want to check in on Sammie," she said._

"_We'll do that later," Brandon said. "I've been patiently waiting all night for this." He smiled as he led his wife towards their bedroom._

~*~*~

"You know, I think I need to stop asking questions," Brenda's voice pulled Kelly back to the present.

"Good idea," Kelly replied as Brenda turned her attention back to shuffling through Kelly's clothes.

"I think I found the perfect pants," Brenda pulled an old pair of ripped jeans with paint stains out of the back of Kelly's closet.

"I haven't seen those in years," Kelly stated.

"What are you so happy about?" Brenda noticed the big grin that had taken over her sister-in-law's face while she wasn't paying attention.

"I was just taking a trip down memory lane," Kelly told her.

"I don't think I want to know," Brenda said, not even wanting to think about the possibilities for where Kelly's head had been.

***

When Ryan arrived promptly at seven, Brenda was still there. In fact, it was Brenda who got the door while Kelly stood in the living room, contemplating running out the back door and standing him up. Before she could though, Ryan was in the room while Brenda stood in the door way.

"Hi Kelly. These are for you," he handed her a bouquet of red roses.

"Hi," Kelly said curtly as she walked towards the trash can and tossed the roses in. There was no way she was keeping them, and hopefully, throwing them out in front him would let him know that this was not nor would it ever become a real date.

Glancing at Ryan, Kelly almost laughed. They'd be getting a lot of strange looks tonight as their appearances couldn't have been any more different if they had tried. Ryan was wearing a suit and tie while Kelly and Brenda had settled on the jeans that Brenda had found in the back of Kelly's closet and a West Beverly Hills Wildcats t-shirt that Kelly had accidentally faded in the wash.

"So where are we going?" Kelly asked. There was no backing out now.

"That's a surprise," Ryan smiled.

"Great," Kelly rolled her eyes.

"I'm glad you like it," an oblivious Ryan said. Checking his watch, he added. "We should probably get going."

Not saying anything, Kelly followed him. She stopped when she reached Brenda though. The sister-in-laws and friends hugged.

"I'd tell you to have fun," Brenda whispered. "But—…"

"I'd rather kill myself," Kelly jokingly replied.

***

They sat in silence as Ryan drove. Kelly looked around uncomfortably. She had absolutely no desire to be in this car, and it didn't help that they were driving through a part of Beverly Hills that she always intentionally avoided even if it meant going extremely out of her way. As they approached a red light, Kelly froze and stared. Her eyes glued to the intersection in front of them. She was surprised by how normal it looked. She had known that it had been cleaned up long ago, but she had never been able to wrap her head around it. She had always felt that it should be different. To any other observer, it looked just like any other intersection with no clues as to what had actually happened there, but Kelly knew better. Why did they have to come this way?

A few minutes later, Ryan turned the car into a parking lot, and Kelly read the sign. Hunan Hills. Closing her eyes, Kelly too a deep breathe. Things had just gone from bad to worse.

"Well here we are," Ryan smiled.

"I don't eat Chinese food," Kelly's voice was shaky.

"Come on," Ryan replied. "You're pulling my leg, right? Who doesn't eat Chinese food? Besides, this place has the best Chinese in town."

"I know it does," Kelly said under her breathe.

"What?" Ryan asked. Fortunately, he hadn't been able to make out what she had said.

"Nothing," Kelly replied. "Can we just go?"

"If you really don't like Chinese, they do have some other stuff. I've never had it, but I've been told its decent," he informed her.

"Look, I can't go in there," Kelly was emphatic.

"Listen Kelly, I told you that if you had dinner with me and didn't have a good time, I would back off. I've made reservations for us so if we're going to have dinner, it's here. I can take you home, but if we do that, I'm not gonna give up on you," if he had to resort to blackmail, he wasn't above it.

Kelly just sat there silently, contemplating whether getting Ryan Matthews to stop harassing her was worth what awaited her inside the restaurant.


	10. Chapter 10

_As always thanks to my reviewers. Now onto the next installment. Enjoy._

Chapter 10:

It had been five minutes since Ryan had issued his ultimatum. Five minutes in which the pair sat in complete silence. Five minutes in which Kelly contemplated her decision. On the one hand, the ultimatum was further proof that the sooner she could get Ryan to leave her alone, the better off she would be. On the other hand, the thought of going into the restaurant made her sick to her stomach. It wasn't the restaurant itself that was the problem, but everything she associated with it. In some ways she was afraid of the restaurant or more specifically the memories and emotions that would come with it. She avoided Chinese food and this restaurant just like she avoided that intersection. There were too many bad memories associated with this place, and more importantly, she was afraid that she would lose her sanity if she didn't. Then there was her friends. It wasn't that they didn't understand why she avoided this place like the plague or would ever even suggest that she come here. They knew just how hard everything had been and continued to be. Still, they didn't hide the fact that they were worried about her, concerned over her inability to cope with what had happened. Move forward was what Brenda had called. Could attempting to go in there be a way to calm their fears and remove some of the pressure they unintentionally tried to put on her? Was it worth it?

"Kelly," Ryan's voice interrupted her contemplation. "I need an answer."

"And I need time," Kelly said rudely.

"Thirty seconds," and impatient Ryan informed her. "Then I'm going in and you can follow or find your own way home. A simple yes or no before then would be nice."

_Way home_. Those two words were like a knife to her heart. As painful as the idea of going into the restaurant was, the idea of going home from here was even worse. Just the thought of it was an even bigger reminder than being here. If she could go somewhere first on the way, that would maybe make it better, but where would she go? She needed more time to think about that. Why wouldn't he just give her more time?

"Fine. I'll go in with you," Kelly said even though everything inside her was yelling at her not to. He had forced her to make a decision between two horrible choices. Why didn't she just run earlier when she had the chance?

"Good," Ryan beamed, completely oblivious to the fact that he was torturing her.

They both got out of the car. Kelly attempted to timidly walk into the restaurant, but Ryan grabbed her risk, dragging her with him.

"We have a reservation," Ryan said as they entered the restaurant and approached the matre'd. "It's under Ryan and Kelly."

Normally Kelly would have made a crack about the audacity of him putting the reservation under both their names, but she was too distracted to do so. Instead Kelly just stared at the counter that was to her left, where customers paid and picked up their take out orders.

"Right this way," the matre'd said as she motioned for them to follow her. Ryan complied while Kelly just stood there, continuing to stare.

"You coming?" Ryan asked once he noticed that Kelly was no longer with him. When she didn't respond, he once again grabbed her risk, dragging her behind him and bringing her back to reality.

"Ouch! Ryan, you're hurting me," Kelly protested as she tried to get him to loosen his grip.

"Well, this seems to be the only way to get you to stay with me," he coolly explained as they approached their table.

Once at the table Ryan took the first seat. Kelly was forced to go to the other side of the table and take the seat that faced the entry way. The matre'd put two menus down and went over the daily specials, but Kelly didn't hear any of it. While Ryan picked up the menu and began flipping through it, she turned her attention back to the counter.

He had stood there the night it happened blissfully unaware of what fate had in store for him. Some of his last minutes of consciousness had been spent in front of that counter, patiently waiting for food so that he could get home to her and their son. The last time he had spoken to her and Sammie he had been in this very restaurant.

"Brandon," she whispered.

"What?" Ryan asked. She had spoken too softly for him to be able to make out what she had said.

"Nothing," Kelly replied. Ryan Matthews was almost last person she wanted to get into this with.

"Are you going to look at the menu or do you know what you want?" Ryan asked once he noticed that she had not opened her menu.

"I'm just gonna stick with the water," Kelly informed him.

"You have to eat something," Ryan scolded her. He had expected her to be a difficult date, but it turned out she was being beyond unreasonable.

"I'm not hungry," Kelly snapped. The truth was she was too preoccupied with a futile attempt to fight back the memories that were threatening to overcome her. Besides as she had told him earlier, she didn't eat Chinese food. At least not anymore.

~*~*~

_At 6:00 in the evening, Kelly escorted her visitors out of her office. She sighed as her watch confirmed that the clock on her office wall was indeed correct. She had intended to leave over an hour ago, but her meeting had gone far longer than it was scheduled for. Now she wouldn't be surprised if she was about to become the last person to leave the high school. Grabbing her cell phone, she hit the familiar speed dial number._

"_Hey Kel," she smiled at the sound of the familiar voice._

"_Hey. I'm just getting ready to leave work now," she told her husband before beginning to vent. "Parents. Nothing is ever their kid's fault. Their kid can't possibly be misbehaving. It's the teacher's fault. There has to be a misunderstanding. The other kids are the problem. Promise me that if we ever have problems with Sammie, we won't act like that."_

"_Promise," Brandon chuckled. Kelly always got like this after a meeting with difficult parents; he found it amusing and cute._

"_Anyways, at this point, I don't really have time to make dinner," she informed him. "Where you at?"_

"_I'm giving my story for tomorrow's paper one more proof read before submitting it. Do you want me to pick up something on my way home?" he asked._

"_Do you mid?" she checked._

"_Not at all," he replied. "It's not like there aren't a ton of places to stop on my way home. What are you in the mood for?"_

"_Hmmmm," Kelly contemplated her options. "How does Chinese sound?"_

"_Good," Brandon replied._

"_Then I'll call Hunan Hills and place an order. It'll be under Walsh," she told him. "Any requests?"_

"_Surprise me," he said._

"_Okay. I'll see you at home," Kelly said. She never would have imagined that it was not to be. "I love you,"_

"_I love you too," Brandon replied. "Bye."_

_***_

_A little while later Brandon walked into Hunan Hills and headed straight for the counter._

"_I'm here to pick up an order for Walsh," he said._

"_It'll be a few more minutes," the woman behind the counter informed him. "Feel free to take a seat."_

_Brandon did as she suggested. Taking out his cell phone, he went to call his wife._

"_Brandon," Kelly picked up the phone once it started ringing._

" _How's my beautiful wife?" he asked._

"_Better now that I'm home," she responded. "I swear Brandon, I just come home and see Sammie playing and being all cute and it's like nothing else matters. At the end of the day, all that's important is the three of us."_

"_I know exactly how you feel," Brandon replied. _

"_Oh Brandon you should see this," Kelly said. "He's pulling at the bottom of my pants and pointing towards the phone. It's like he knows you're on the phone and wants to talk to you."_

"_Then let me talk to him," he requested._

"_Sammie," Brandon heard Kelly say. "You wanna talk to Daddy?"_

"_Daddy!" Sammie exclaimed once he had been given the phone._

"_Hi buddy," Brandon said. "How was your day?"_

"_I miss you," Sammie said._

"_I miss you too," Brandon smiled. "But I'll be home shortly."_

"_Will you play with me?" Sammie asked._

"_Of course," Brandon told him._

"_Promise?" Sammie wanted extra assurance._

"_I promise," Brandon said. "Can you do me a favor and give the phone back to Mommy?"_

"_It's me again," Kelly said once Sammie had given her the phone._

"_Okay," Brandon said. "I called to let you know that I'm currently waiting for the food and should be home in about twenty minutes or so."_

"_Mr. Walsh," the woman at the counter called. "Your food's ready."_

"_Kel," he said into the phone. "I've got to go. The food's done. I'll see you in a bit."_

"_Bye," she replied._

"_Thanks," Brandon said to the woman behind the counter as he headed in her direction in order to pay for and pick up the food. Once that was done he left the restaurant, heading for his car in order to go home._

_A few minutes later, Brandon found himself in the right lane and stopped at a red light. Once he noticed that the light had turned green, he hit the gas expecting to continue on his way home. At the same time a pick up truck driving at about eighty miles an hour ran the red light and sped into the intersection. It hit the car in the middle lane first, pushing that car with it as the truck continued to plow forward. Brandon heard the initial impact. Filled with horror, he did his best to react, but there just wasn't enough time. The force of both the car and the truck hitting Brandon's car, sent both the car spinning out of control and the first of many waves of piercing pain through his body. The car continued to spiral until it finally hit the pole that the traffic lights hung from. Impact was made at the driver's door, which had already taken a significant beating from the first impact. Brandon's head went through what was left of the driver's side window, hitting the pole. It was the final blow before he lost consciousness._

_***_

_About half an hour later, Kelly was pacing back and forth in her living room. Brandon should have been home over ten minutes ago, and while he wasn't significantly late enough for it to normally be a source of concern, she couldn't shake the horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach. Something was wrong; she knew it with every fiber in her being._

_Trying to get her mind off of her worries, Kelly took a seat and flipped on the TV. She was about to check the guide to see what was on when a breaking new bulletin about the accident came on. _

"_That's on his way home from the restaurant; he must be caught in traffic and that's why he isn't home yet," she said out loud as she tried to reason with herself. But then why hadn't he called to let her know what was going on? Deep down she already knew the answer. She tried to deny it, to come up with other explanations for where Brandon was and why he hadn't called, but she couldn't. There was only one thing that made sense. Brandon had been involved in that accident._

_Picking up the phone, Kelly quickly dialed her next door neighbor._

"_Denise," Kelly said once the woman had picked up the phone. "Brandon's not home yet, and I need to go out. I know it's short notice, but would you mind watching Sammie?"_

"_Is everything okay?" Denise asked._

"_Not really," Kelly's voice was filled with panic. "I need to do something. It's urgent. Can you do it?"_

"_Sure," Denise said. "Whatever you need. I'll be over in a few minutes."_

"_Thank you so much," Kelly told her. "I really owe you."_

_***_

_Kelly was stuck in traffic. The closer she got to where the accident had occurred, the slower traffic was moving until she had finally reached the point where traffic wasn't moving at all. Fed up she decided to just leave her car and go the rest of the way on foot. Compared to her fears, the ticket she was sure to get was completely inconsequential._

_After ten minutes of walking, Kelly arrived at the scene. There were first responders and vehicles with flashing sirens everywhere. The intersection had been completely blocked off, but detour signs had yet to be put up, creating a total sense of mayhem. Knowing that she was finally here, Kelly began to run hoping that her fears weren't reality. All hope was immediately dashed as she noticed the barely recognizable tangled metal that was Brandon's car._

"_No," she screamed as she broke into a sprint and fought to hold back tears. _

"_Miss, you can't go past the yellow tape," a cop approached her._

"_That's my husband's car," she tried to convince the cop to let her past. "I need to get to it."_

"_I'm sorry Miss," the cop said. "But I've been instructed not to let anyone past."_

"_Can you at least tell me how bad it is?"Kelly's voice was shaky._

"_I don't know much. He is alive, but he's unconscious," the cop told her. "They're still trying to get him out of the car, and they won't be able to even guess the extent of his injuries until they do."_

"_He's stuck in there?" Kelly lost the battle over her tears. This was far worse than she had expected._

"_I'm afraid so," he said._

"_You have to let me through," she begged. "I'll tell your boss, I snuck through and that you didn't see me. Please."_

"_Trust me, you don't want to see him like this," the cop told her._

"_Okay, fine. I'll stay here, but I'm not leaving," Kelly managed to keep her cool long enough to pretended to give in. The cop bought it and turned his attention elsewhere. As soon as he did, Kelly ducked under the yellow tape and ran towards where Brandon was. With the chaos, she was able to get close enough to catch a glimpse of her husband._

"_Oh God!" Kelly gasped as hysterics completely took over._

~*~*~

"Are you okay?" Ryan noticed that Kelly was crying.

"I need to get out of here. I can barely breathe in here," Kelly replied. Practically on cue she began to hyperventilate.

"Very funny," Ryan said. "You've been completely uncooperative all evening. I don't buy this act of yours for a minute."

"Take me home," Kelly ordered.

"Not a chance," Ryan said. "We are going to finish this date."

"Then I'll call a cab," Kelly didn't have the strength to argue. She just got up and headed for the door. As much as she wanted Ryan Matthews off her back, nothing was worth this.

She stood outside the restaurant for ten minutes before the cab arrived. Surprisingly, Ryan had never bothered to come after her, but she was sure he was sitting in the restaurant fuming or maybe he was expecting her to decide that she had made a mistake and come rushing back apologetically. It wasn't going to happen, and it didn't matter. All that mattered was getting out of there.

***

Kelly had become slightly more composed during the course of the cab ride, but when they entered her neighborhood she was still a mess. As the cab pulled up in front of her house, Kelly ruffled through her wallet, hoping she had the cash to pay the fare. Fortunately she did.

"Thank you," Kelly said as she gave the driver the money.

"You're welcome," the man said. "Have a good evening ma'am."

"You too," Kelly replied while she got out of the cab. As she approached her house, she noticed a man sitting on her porch. Who on earth would be visiting her this late on a Friday night? Nervously, she continued to approach the house. When she was close enough to make out the figure, she recognized Vince Davis. This night had just gone from bad to worse.

_So there you have it. What happened to Brandon revealed. I'm sorry I couldn't do it justice. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't seem to capture the drama of a horrible car accident._


	11. Chapter 11

_Sorry for the long delay. I've been rather busy and distracted, and I must admit that I had a hard time writing this chapter. Even though I really wanted to include this, in some ways it seems like a cruel chapter, and I wanted to make it as raw as possible. As a result, I found it difficult to just sit down and focus. Originally, this was supposed to be the first part of the chapter, but since I found a good stopping point and am going out of town, I thought it was a good idea to stop here and give you what I have so its on the shorter end. Hopefully, I'll be able to get what was supposed to be the second half of this chapter up in less time than it took me to get this up. As always thanks to all my reviewers. Now onto the chapter._

Chapter 11:

"What are you doing here?" Kelly's voice was shaky.

"I came to see you," Vince Davis said.

"This is personal property. You're trespassing," Kelly walked up the steps so that they were both standing on the porch outside her front door.

"I'm sorry," he replied. "I'll try to be quick."

"Or you could do us all a favor and just leave," she spat. "Whatever it is you came to see me about I don't care."

"I need to tell you this Mrs. Walsh," the man was undeterred.

"Well, I don't care what _you_ need," Kelly informed him. "Dealing with you is the last thing _I_ need right now."

"I honestly think that this could be good for both of us," Vince said.

"And I honestly don't care," Kelly retorted.

"Look, Mrs. Walsh, I did a lot of thinking while I was in prison," he began.

"Good for you," she sarcastically replied.

"I know now what I did to you," he continued. "Two years ago I was a young guy looking for a good time. I didn't understand that my actions had consequences. Even after I caused that accident, I didn't really get what I had done. Your husband, that other woman and her daughter, they weren't real to me. I had never met them, never even seen any of them. The fact that they existed, the fact that you existed. It meant nothing to me. I was so removed from all of you and wrapped up in my own problems that after the accident, I didn't really understand what I had done."

"Do you want a metal or something?" Kelly continued with the sarcasm as she fought back tears. She then turned more serious. "You certainly don't deserve one. I've always known what you did. What you took from _me and my son_. I mean how much on an idiot do you have to be to not realize what you did?"

"I know," Davis solemnly replied. "I was young. I was stupid. I was a fool. Everything I did that night was moronic and wrong. Looking back it's obvious."

"Then why are you here? Why do you need to dredge all this up?" Kelly had already been faced with enough painful memories for one night, and she didn't think that she could handle any more.

"Because I thought it was important to explain," he told her. "I needed to do it and thought you needed to hear it."

"You have no idea what I need and no right to think you can give it to me," she snapped. "What I need is my husband, the man you took from me. I need that night to have never happened so unless you can go back in time and not get behind the wheel of that car, you can't do anything for me."

"I know," he stated simply.

"It makes me sick you know. Not only did you put Brandon in a coma, but you caused the deaths of three innocent people. And now—" Kelly began before being cut off.

"Only two people died in the accident," Davis suddenly felt the need to defend himself.

"And then a man killed himself because of it. I may have not have known the man well, but we certainly shared something in common. As far as I'm concerned, you're responsible for that too," she informed him.

"What?" he had no idea what she was talking about.

"Craig Willows committed suicide shortly after we were informed you took the plea bargain. They didn't tell you?" Kelly didn't understand why no one had let him know. Maybe it would have made him suffer more. "As I was saying, it makes me sick. There are four people, four good people, who don't get to live their lives. Meanwhile a piece of scum like you gets to live yours. While you were in prison, you only got to breathe their oxygen, but now you get your freedom too. You get to have a family when you took them from theirs. You get to plan your future and see your loved one's whenever you want. All those little things that they took for granted you get to do. They should have those opportunities. They deserve it. You don't."

"I know," Davis replied.

"On second thought, there is one thing you can do for me," she told him. "You can leave me the hell alone."

"I will," he said. "But first there's one more thing I have to do here. I am truly sorry for everything. I am completely ashamed and mortified by what I have done. Even though I'll never be able to make up for it, I will spend the rest of my life trying. I've been given a second chance. I know that. Once my parole is up, I intend to join the Peace Corps and try to give back. I'm doing everything I can to be a better man. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, and I don't expect it. Still, I came to ask for it."

"You have some nerve," Kelly spat. "How dare you ask me for forgiveness? After everything you've done, you certainly don't deserve it. You gave a good talk, but that's all it is talk. Two years ago you got drunk and decided that it was a good idea to get behind the wheel of a car. You put my husband in a coma, and you ruined our lives. I look at his empty chair at the kitchen table every day and his bare side of the bed every night, and it breaks my heart. I stare at his picture all the time and think about what could be, what should be. I miss him so much it hurts. My son doesn't remember his father. All he knows is a body lying in a hospital bed, and he wonders why he doesn't have a daddy to play with him like all his friends do. For that I will never forgive you. Now please leave."

"I will. Mrs. Walsh, thank you for your time." With that Davis turned around and walked away.

"It's not like you gave me a choice," she called after him.

Once he was gone, Kelly finally let emotion overcome her. Not having the strength to go into the house, she collapsed in a ball on the porch and began to cry.


End file.
